Embracing a growth mindset

@jasmine

My daughter captured this photo as we were returning home from Santa Barbara, our first college tour of what will certainly be more to come. The skies were tumultuous above the orchards in the San Joaquin valley and when the sun dipped beneath the thick cloud cover in the west, the world lit up. Somehow a double rainbow seemed a fitting nod to what lies ahead. No surprise to me that this morning at Sunday yoga class, our gifted teacher, Andrea, talked about the magic of rainbows, pointing out that they often occur after turbulence. Having written much of this post the previous evening, I appreciated the synchronicity of her words.

I entered this year feeling inspired with a new sense of curiosity. There has been turbulence around for many of us as we navigate challenges, some which are welcome and others landing in our laps unexpectedly. This brief encounter with a double rainbow felt magical and I always appreciate nature’s way of punctuating a moment.

As the parent of an only child, college tours mean a big chapter is about to be written. It’s a time of immense growth as we step onto the platform of launching. I love the way we both have to think and imagine a future space for her, a time of profound transition for each of us. We have our own fears but mostly, it feels like a growth muscle asking to be used. This time period is about looking ahead with enthusiasm and hope.

I have strong beliefs about maintaining a growth mindset. As the spring season bursts with vibrancy and extraordinary contrasts, growth beckons on all levels. I’ve come to the conclusion that the most satisfied people I meet are those who have an internal and lifelong fire of curiosity burning inside of them. A growth mindset supersedes accomplishments. For me, it has more to do with connecting to our innate childlike awe of possibility, requiring an ongoing willingness to gaze inward and outward simultaneously.

What more is there? What part of me needs to be called upon, opened up, strengthened? Who or what do I need to connect with? How is my life working for me today?

The soul’s journey is never satisfied.

As my client and I quipped recently, we need two lives–one to take care of the business of living and the other to study all the things that need to be learned. It is when we lose our sense of curiosity and wonder that the experience of living flattens us out. For me, after managing big losses in the last few years, I have felt a strong desire to experience new things as a means of encouraging healing and to cultivate presence with accepting what is.

I’ve found myself needing to say yes to opportunities that show up. What I love about having a growth longing is that I don’t necessarily need to know what I want, but rather, I can stay open to what shows up. Nothing needs to be forced. This isn’t always the way, of course. We strive and seek and can be driven with a deep inner knowing. Goals and dreams are vital. Thankfully, both mindsets are intuitive and intriguing.

Six months ago, when I began reacquainting myself with the Italian language, I never considered that I had opened up a mislaid treasure living inside of me. I had forgotten the immense pleasure, frustration and effort that comes with learning a foreign language. Having studied Italian for five years (too many years ago to count), the memory of it was there somewhere but not readily accessible. My thirst to improve was immediate.

When I discovered Babbel-live Zoom classes and decided to try my first lesson, that simple decision changed my daily life. Through this extraordinary platform, I am in a classroom several times a week with no more than 6 students as we learn a language together. It’s truly life-changing. The Italian instructors are exceptionally thorough and enthusiastic and I get to meet people from all over the world, studying Italian for various personal ambitions yet above all, there is a shared love of learning, traveling and seeking adventure. For this reason, many of the students are multilingual and our conversations provide perspectives from all over the globe. The classes cover topics germane to our modern lives while we learn to talk about our families, careers, climate change, politics, activism and culture. This is nothing like sitting in a language lab of years past! It’s in this arena of connection that I feel most at home.

Beyond the learning, I see us all willing to hang out in the discomfort zone that struggling to communicate basic ideas creates, and while it’s true that we’re there to learn Italian, we become open to each other’s ideas as well. Perfect. Discomfort is one of our most important allies. Finding our growth edge is as vital for our well-being as nutrition is to our health.

It’s a long path to fluency but beyond that, the world feels both bigger and more accessible.

Another area of growth for me is stepping away more often from responsibility. This is an important growth edge for me, as I have been over-identified throughout my adult life with a certain work ethic. It’s not that I don’t know how to play and have fun. Quite the contrary. What is hard for me is stepping away just for me, for extended periods of time. What I rediscovered on my trip to Italy this February was the profound value of really letting go. I returned with a renewed sense of openness and peace.

Next month, I am giving myself the gift of a week-long retreat in the mountains of Big Sur. When a dear friend forwarded me the email of this magnificent opportunity to backpack with a small group and a wilderness guide, I said, “YES!” Not only do she and I get to backpack together, leaving behind responsibilities of work and parenting, we will be completing the week with a 3-day immersion at the Tassajara Meditation Center. It’s a privilege I don’t take for granted. What an opportunity.

Healing and growing are lifelong processes. Stagnation and stuckness are what happens when we don’t recognize this. We don’t always know how to heal or how to grow. Healing requires us to go inward and growing moves us outward, to a more expanded state. A growth mindset is ultimately recognizing that there is a better version of oneself that can be acquired, continually building on all the hard work we’ve already done.

When grapes turn to wine, they long for our ability to change. When stars wheel around the North Pole, they are longing for our growing consciousness.

Rumi