Reflections and Intentions
It’s that time of year for most of us, regardless of our belief systems or tendencies, to peer over our shoulder at the year behind us while gazing ahead. It’s inevitable that we feel some sense of transition as the Gregorian calendar adds another year to the count. The new year also creates pressure, hope, aspirational thinking.
We live in a time of abundant advice giving, offers to show us how to live better, stressing that we should create goals and make projections. Much of this revolves around money, appearance, free time used wisely or improving habits based upon our American ideals of wealth, beauty, entitlement and freedom.
I might sound a little cynical. I don’t feel cynical at all, but I do reject the notion that creating lofty goals at the start of a year will actually result in permanent change. Or that wealth and beauty produce the kind of happiness that marketing would have us believe.
I like to imagine that the start of a new year is actually inviting us into a process of both reflecting and contemplating. It’s helpful to look back, without attachment, and notice. Anyone who knows me also knows I’m a big fan of asking questions as a form of personal inquiry.
Curiosity
What can we see and learn as we look back at our choices and experiences, what wants and needs were we responding to?
What was I doing last winter, spring, summer?
What plans did I make last year that came to fruition and what unexpected doors opened up for me?
What hardships did I face?
What losses, traumas or events did I have to manage?
What did I say yes to, what did I turn away from?
Where do I see myself going from here?
What matters to me now?
Reflecting
2024 was a year of incredible growth for me. With my only daughter old enough to drive I felt a sense of freedom that I hadn’t experienced for many years. I suddenly felt the need to say YES to opportunities that weren’t available to me as a working mom with a younger child. I became interested in studying Italian again, a language I studied and majored in many years ago.
As a result, after months of relearning the language with Babbel zoom classes, last winter I went to Italy for ten days by myself. Then, feeling inspired, in the spring I backpacked for a week with my dear friend, Tanya, and a group of intrepid buddhists, led by the brilliant wilderness guide, Fletcher Tucker (wildtender.com). In the summer, I said I can’t I can’t I can’t to a three-month Yoga Teacher Training, until the final minute when I said YES to the world-class yoga master, Andrea Spacek (eastwindyoga.com). And finally this fall, I completed my week-long Authentic Leadership II training, a two-part program led by the most amazing Judith Bell (rewireleadership.com).
All of this being said, I see that I was obsessed with learning and growing in all kinds of ways. I also know on a much deeper level that what I’ve really been needing is a sense of connection and collaboration with others. Being a therapist in private practice can be isolating. Going to workshops and trainings is great, but beyond that, I needed to experience a more profound sense of connection that comes with spending deep quality time with other humans.
I knew my intention at the beginning of 2024 was collaboration. That word came to me early in the year and landed in a very conscious place inside of me. It has been time for me to reach out beyond my self, my books and podcasts and weekend trainings and be with real people for extended periods of time. This led me to consider another important element, that real learning comes from not-knowing. Whenever we are encouraged to learn something new, we are also reminded of all that we still don’t know.
Beginner’s Mind
There is an important guiding principle in Eastern thought, the principle of having a beginner’s mind.
It’s simple, really. Remember yourself as a child. Imagine yourself having childlike delight and curiosity about every new thing that you experience, and that these new things provoke laughter, amazement, connection, and the desire to share this experience with someone. A beginner’s mind allows us to continue to see the world around us with wonder. It encourages us to continually challenge our beliefs, to be open to others and their opinions, to have humility, humor, grace, openness. It invites us to try new things, be flexible and adaptive, to know there is always more to learn and someone new to learn from.
I believe I needed to connect anew with my beginner’s mind, to humble myself in ways that moved me out of my comfort zone. There’s nothing like fumbling with a language trying to communicate or stumbling through a yoga class teaching others to make me feel like I have a whole lot to learn.
Consequences
It’s also true that in my quest for learning, my obsession with studying Italian (still), my desire to try and memorize Sanskrit names for yoga poses, I stopped doing certain things that also matter to me. I stopped writing. I haven’t read a book in English for months. I stopped listening to some of my favorite podcasts but rather, practice Italian when driving in the car. I haven’t been as rigorous with my finances, bookkeeping, emails, visiting my mother, seeing my nieces.
We have a finite amount of energy. We all have to decide and make choices about how we spend our time, with whom, what effort we want to give to certain activities. This is true for all of us. There are things we can’t control, forces in the world that are aligned with values different from our own perhaps, but we must choose how we want to show up in our own lives.
Intentions
I already see intentions clearly for myself this year. I don’t know how they will unfold, however I do feel the power of their energy inside of me. I hope to offer more of myself in different forms, whether it’s with words or creating new ways of holding space for the sacred work we are all here to do. I hope to communicate differently and use technology more wisely.
Most importantly, I hope to bring a sense of wonder with me, to infect others with hope, to navigate difficulties with grace, to maintain a sense of alignment with my higher self and to experience more laughter and delight. I hope to alleviate suffering by making the best choices I can for myself and others. I hope that the connections I have with those around me honors the sacredness of our humanity and that we are all better off as a result.
What intentions do you have for yourself and your life?
Who do you want to learn from, what do you want to teach others?
Nourished by Joy
Learn to nourish yourself and the other person with joy. Are you able to make the other person smile? Are you able to increase her confidence and enthusiasm? If you're not able to do these small things for her, how can you say you love her? Sometimes a kind word is enough to help someone blossom like a flower.
THICH NHAT HANH
